And now for something you will only see (I only found one other place on google where this was PARTIALLY posted) on New2Torah, the long lost Parable of Gomer, son of Homer, being the son of Omer. Please share with your sheeple friends on wastebook.
- These are the generations of Gomer, son of Homer, being the son of Omer.
- And in the days of Gomer, Noah the Prophet, went unto the people saying, “Prepare ye for the flood which is to come, yea, build yourselves a boat that ye may not perish.”
- Now, Gomer was a member of the Church, a faithful man indeed, verily a teacher of Sunday school and played, yea, pitched even on the Church softball team.
- And Gomer’s wife said unto him, “Come, mine honorable husband, let us build unto ourselves a boat as the Prophet commandeth, that we may not perish in the flood.”
- But behold, Gomer saith unto his wife, “Worry not, dear wife, for if the flood comes the government will provide boats for thee.”
- And so, Gomer built not a boat for his family.
- And Gomer’s wife went unto Noah and she returned saying, “Behold dear husband, the Prophet saith unto us, “Build a boat that ye may preserve yourselves, for the government pays men not to grow trees, wherefore the government hath not the lumber to build for ye a boat.”
- And Gomer answered saying, “Fear not, oh precious wife, for am I not the star pitcher on the Church softball team? Wherefore, believest thou not that the Church will provide for us a boat that we will perish not?”
- And Gomer’s wife went again unto Noah, and she returned unto Gomer, saying, “Behold, mine husband of great faith, the Prophet saith that the Church hath not enough lumber to build a boat for everyone, wherefore, mine husband; I pray ye to build for us a boat that we might not perish in the promised flood.”
- And Gomer answered her saying, “Behold, if we build a boat, when the flood cometh, will not our neighbors overpower us and take from us our boat; wherefore, what doth it profit a man to build a boat under such adverse conditions?”
- And Gomer’s wife went again unto Noah and she returned again, saying, “Behold, the Prophet Noah saith, build unto yourselves a boat. Have faith, for if ye do the Lord’s bidding, He will preserve your boat for your family.”
- But Gomer answered his wife, saying, “Behold, with these times of intense inflation and exceeding usury because of fractional reserve banking, the price of wood has become burdensome, and if we tarry awhile, perhaps the price will become more reasonable and I will have the means to buy without sacrifice. Then I will build for us a boat.”
- And Gomer’s wife went again unto Noah, and she returned saying, “Thus saith the Prophet, build for yourselves a boat at this time, for the price of wood will not be less, but will continue to increase. Wherefore, oh my husband, build for ourselves a boat that we may perish not.”
- But Gomer answered his wife, saying, “Behold, my wife of many years and mother of my many children, harken unto me. Yea, for more than 120 years Noah hath told us to build a boat to preserve ourselves from the flood that is to come, but hath the flood come? Nay, I say, nay! Wherefore, perhaps the flood will not come for another hundred and twenty years and we would have wasted our children’s inheritance and deprived ourselves of many vacation homes.
- And Gomer’s wife went again unto Noah and returned saying, “The Prophet saith, he knows it has been 120 years, but nevertheless, the flood will come, wherefore, build unto yourselves a boat.”
- And Gomer answered her saying, “Wherewith shall we get the shekels of silver to build ourselves a boat, for are we not now indebted beyond our means with payments of our large house, fast chariot convertible, and vacation home among the Greek Isles? Wherefore, when our payments thereunto end, perhaps I shall build ourselves a boat.”
- And Gomer’s wife went again unto Noah and returned saying, “Behold, the Prophet saith that we should abate our conspicuous consumption, our weekend recreation, our dining at sumptuous buffets and our annual vacations. He instead directs us to purchase lumber for our shekels of silver that we might thereby acquire enough lumber to commence to build unto ourselves a boat.”
- But Gomer saith unto her, “What a burden to bear! Are we to cease enjoying this choice lifestyle of comfort and ease just because we are told by a prophet to built a boat at this time?
- Wherefore, Gomer having justified himself, built not a boat and continued in his conspicuous lifestyle, unconcerned about Noah and his prophecies of doom his wife had carried to hither.
- And Gomer’s wife was given to much anguish that he should not build a boat but was foresworn to honor and obey her husband and spake not again of the need for a boat.
- And behold, it was sometime later, in the early afternoon, a championship ball game was being played, wherein Gomer was at the highest level of performance of the season as he threw the ball to the opposing players.
- Now Gomer, facing away from the bright sun, began to see great flashes of lightning in the far sky.
- And though Gomer could not see over the distant horizon, he heard the sounds of ominous roaring thunder over all the land.
- And Gomer remembering the pleadings of his wife, suddenly began to fear and shake exceedingly.
- And Gomer ran, yea, even from the field of play, unto the shop of the lumber merchant to buy himself a measure of lumber.
- But behold, the lumber merchant shop was crowded with great multitudes of eager buyers, all clamoring to buy their own measure of lumber, for they too, had not wanted to prepare themselves a boat in time.
- And as such, there was not enough lumber to be found in the entire village, for the multitudes were all demanding much lumber to build their boats.
- And later in that same day, as the heavens were opened and the rains fell, were all the fountains of the deep broken up, and the windows of heaven opened and floodwaters rose up throughout the whole land and Gomer began to feel a deep fear.
- And behold, Gomer had no boat for his woeful wife and trusting family.
- And the water rose above Gomers waist. Now Gomer’s wife and his children clingeth unto him, hoping he had strength whereby he saveth them from the rising waters.
- And his wife saith unto him, weeping and wailing, speaking through her gnashing teeth, as the waters rose unto her neck.
- “Behold my slothful husband, did the Prophet Noah not tell thee so, when there was time to prepare a boat for thy family?”
Time is running out. Got Lumber?
“And to the woman were given two wings of a great eagle, that she might fly into the wilderness, into her place, where she is nourished for a time, and times, and half a time, from the face of the serpent.”